I'm Hanging Up

April 02, 2010

Yesterday in the car, my almost-four-year-old little girl and I were playing the "you're so silly game." It's pretty straightforward. I say, "You're so silly because you like to wear your converse with dresses," or "You're so silly because you won't eat jelly with your peanut butter." You get it. So we were going back and forth fast and furious like a good tennis match until she brought the rally to a dead stop. "Mommy," she giggled, "You are the silliest mom ever because you talk on the phone too long. Always on the phone. Too much, Mommy!" My instincts went into immediate defensive mode. I do not. I am not always on the phone, looking at my phone, texting, talking, typing. I am not. That is so completely UNtrue. I mean, there is not a morsel of reality in that statement. NO! NO!

And then I took a deep breath and admitted, she had hit it right on the nose. What I haven't been able to admit to Oprah by joining in her no car phone and texting revolution, I better be able to admit to my daughter and, well, my self. Uh-oh, I do have a problem and it's not silly at all.
Now I realize it's cliche to say I am a mom and I use my iPhone too much (I'm a mommy blogger too so apparently I'm into cliches!), but cliches are just that for a reason--they are more often than not, true. We all know that our kids are more likely to do as we do than do as we say. How can I strongly limit my son's DS and Wii playing while banging on my own mini-keyboard? I get that he is playing games while I am, for the most part, on the phone scheduling dentist appointments, taking a conference call or figuring out the logistics of the next playdate. BUT, there are also plenty of times I am out with one of my kids and the phone rings. I look down to see it is one of my most-fun-to-gab-with-girls and I pick up. Why? Can't the call wait until I get home? Do I really need to chat aimlessly at that very moment? Or do I truly need to reply to an email the second after it comes into my account? NO, I don't.
The other night my husband and I went out to dinner for our one night of the week sans children. There was about a 30 minute wait for a table so we went outside to sit on a bench underneath the beautiful night sky. There were others waiting nearby. It is not an exaggeration to say that every single one of the couples or groups had at least one phone out. Everyone was glued to their little devices. There wasn't much conversing or connecting going on and I realized, we have all become so afraid of dead air, of doing nothing, or god forbid of waiting with nothing to do to distract us from doing nothing. We don't know what to do with ourselves if we're not surfing the net, facebooking or playing with our of-the-moment app. I can't be the only one who recognizes this. My little girl is a pretty smart cookie. She obviously gets it too. I'm betting your little ones are just as bright.

And this doesn't even address what they think or take in when they watch us talk, text or type in the car. I have tried to cut it all off like Oprah wants us to pledge as part of her No Phone Zone, but I won't lie, it's been harder than I thought. Out of necessity, I do need to sometimes make calls in the car because due to my carpooling schedule I am often in my car for three hours a day. But there are plenty of other times, I do not need to be on the phone and I never need or should type or text in the car especially if some day I want to lecture my then sixteen-year-old driver about the dangers of doing such things while operating a motor vehicle. How can I stress this as a life or death situation if I'm not treating it as such? Sometimes, I'll notice myself glancing at my emails when I come to a red light for no other reason than I've grown accustomed to never doing nothing! That is not something I am okay teaching my children.

Enough is enough. This is one cliche I want to shed. I embrace the convenience my iPhone has brought into my life but it's time for me to be in control of it and not let it take control of me.