July 29, 2008

ROGER THAT?



My son has a new friend named Roger. He's bossy, intrusive, mischevious and often just a straight out liar. He's a horrible influence, constantly getting my guy into trouble. I really don't like him. I kind of hate him. I just wish he would leave my son alone. And I would tell him that if I could but, well, I've never actually met him. In fact, I haven't even spied him from afar. See, my son is five and Roger is his imaginary friend.

My son loves anything to do with Rescue Heroes. For those not in the know, these are characters based on firefighters (Billy Blaze), police officers (Jake Justice), etc... They respond to emergencies with guts, glory and totally cool walkie talkies. In loud, commanding voices, the courageous figures bark orders and shout directions into their two-way communicators always signing off with "Roger That." And so evolved our Roger, a true hero in that he's always coming to the rescue of my son. If my son doesn't want to go to swim lessons, he will assure me that Roger has called ahead and the classes are canceled for the day. When he pushes his sister out of his room, it's always Roger's fault (he was in a rush to save a family in Oklahoma from an oncoming twister). And when I have to say "no" or discipline, Roger gets really mad! Sometimes "he" says things I just know my sweet little boy would NEVER say to his mother (if you do that again, I'm going to put you in jail!)

I guess I could look at the positive side. My son has a truly wonderful imagination and enough of a conscience to, at least, assign blame for his unfavorable behavior. I've read that it's healthy for children to use an imaginary friend as an outlet for their emotions, especially boys. I get that I should be grateful my boy has found a way to express himself. But this Roger is grating on me. He's trying my patience. And crowding my space. I feel like my son is constantly under the influence.

I expressed my concern to my mom and all she could say was, "Wait until he gets a girlfriend." Uh-oh, I Roger that.